Breaking Up Safely
If you don’t feel safe, don’t break up in person. It may seem cruel to break up over the phone or by email but it may be the safest way.
- If you break up in person, do it in a public place. Have friends or your parents wait nearby. Try to take a cell phone with you.
- Don’t try to explain your reasons for ending the relationship more than once. There is nothing you can say that will make your ex happy.
- Let your friends and parents know you are ending your relationship, especially if you think your ex will come to your house or confront you when you’re alone.
- If your ex does come to your house when you’re alone, don’t go to the door.
- Trust yourself. If you feel afraid, you probably have a good reason.
- Ask for help. Go to www.loveisrespect.org and chat with a trained peer advocate who is able to answer your questions. Talk to any trusted adult or call MAAV at 781-662-2010.
- Just because an unhealthy or abusive relationship is over, doesn’t mean the risk of violence is too. Talk with your friends and family so they can support you.
After the Break-Up
- If you can, tell your parents what’s going on, especially if your ex may come by your home.
- Talk to a school counselor or teacher you trust. Together, you can alert security, adjust your class schedule or find other ways to help you feel safer.
- Avoid isolated areas at school and local hangouts. Don’t walk alone or wear earphones.
- Keep friends or family close when attending parties or events you think your ex might attend.
- Save any threatening or harassing messages your ex sends. Set your profile to private on social networking sites and ask friends to do the same.
- If you ever feel you’re in immediate danger, call 911.
- Memorize important numbers in case you don’t have access to your cell phone.